A superbowl win!

sorry for the delay…im sure all of you are at the edge’s of your seat just waiting for the next crazy thing I did after such a long break. After a nice relaxing Thanksgiving break, I decided to come back to the blog with a great short story for once. Not a crazy story, but one that might make the title of this blog more relevant. Anyway, enough of me blabbering. On to the good stuff:

I take sports very seriously. I follow almost all professional sports and even a few college sports. I am competitive and I like to surround myself with friends who are sports fanatics like myself when watching games. Having said that, a couple years ago, my superbowl party plans fell through and I decided to watch the Colts-Saints game with a girl [Cheerleader] in her room. She said she liked and understood football so I took her up on her offer because it was better than watching alone.

We were both on her bed and she treated me like a king. I brought over beer. She would get me beers without me asking for one. One time I did ask for a beer. The exchange went like this:

"Hey Cheerleader, can I have another beer please?"

"That isn’t how you ask me! Ask me the right way"

"Hey bitch, get me another brewski!"

"That’s more like it!" And she went off to get me another beer.

After a while I could tell that her interest in the game was slipping. And just when I recognized that was the same moment she started rubbing my crotch.

"I want to blow you while you watch the superbowl"

"Go for it!"

so picture this:

Me, naked, on her bed

watching the superbowl

getting a blow job

…and for the final touch, sipping an ice cold beer.


(I won’t go any further into the story because nothing else out of the ordinary happens. No, I’m sure a few of you are all waiting for the part where i tell you that I have Peyton Manning sex or something like that. Its is unusually normal. It felt good and I finished. I wish I could tell you I came at the same time as a touchdown for my team, but that just wouldn’t be true.)

I don’t think it gets much better than that!

The End


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19 notes

Getting my “Driver’s License…”

So there I was, having sex (I know, what a surprise) with a girl. Let’s call her Montana…

The sex was good. Not great. I mean we fucked hard, slow, and everything in between, but it just wasn’t cutting it. Montana and I changed positions….still nothing great. I was determined to make her orgasm…

I was on the bottom. And she was riding me. As she was riding me, I told her,

"I want to play a game as we fuck."

She said, “okay.”

I explained, “The game goes like this: One of us will name a state in the US, and I will fuck you to the style of the state’s drivers.”

"Mous, you are crazy!" Montana replied.

I was having none of it. I wasn’t listening. Only trying to think of the perfect state to start things off with.

Why not start up with a weird one?

I yell “Massachusetts!”

I start fucking her fast.

"I am driving fast with no care for the people around me…" a few moments later, "I am cutting off drivers with no directionals"

I start fucking irrationally. Going into her at different angles fast and in no particular order. I thought it was funny. She thought it felt great because i was fucking the shit out of her and going in at different angles each time.


I slowed down to a mere creep.

"I’m sorry Montana, but this is as fast as my tractor goes!"

This one only lasted so long. She started telling me to go faster…then yelling at me to go faster…when she almost hit me, I changed states.


"Oh, look at me! I’m a hot shot tool bag in Miami driving fast. Whooo!"

I resume fucking the fuck out of her.

"woahhhhh! looks like I gotta slow down. There’s an old retired lady driving her Oldsmobile at 35 MPH on the highway in front of me."

I slow down to a near creep again.

"Rhode Island"

"Oh, you will never know what I’m gonna do next. I’m the most inconsistent driver in the world. Sometimes I go fast, sometimes I go slow, and sometimes I make bad decisions on the road."

I kept changing speeds. Changing speeds as soon as Montana looked like she was about to start orgasming. (As you may guess, this state didn’t last too long)


"I’m driving on the streets of LA… Oh look, a stop sign."

I fuck her normal speed, then creep through the stop sign to represent the infamous “rolling stop” Californians do.

"Now I’m a pedestrian in LA. I take jay-walking too seriously. I can see for miles that it’s clear, but I’m going to wait for the walk sign anyway"

Once again we fuck normally, but then I announce that we have come up to a stop sign. I come to a complete stop. Wait about 7 seconds, then resume fucking. I repeat this a few times. Montana does not approve of this game anymore. I continue anyway…

I decide that she has been a good sport through this game.

"New York"

The best driving state. If you can drive in NYC, you can drive anywhere in the world. New York drivers are fast, efficient, and predictably aggressive.

I go hard and fast. I let her orgasm for a long time. She is done. I am not.

I whisper “New Jersey”

I let out a silent fart.

Montana: “What did you say?”

me: “nothing. don’t worry about it” I hold my laughter.

I eventually finish. As I cum, Montana announces in the British GPS voice, “You have now arrived at your destination.”

The end.


[Subscribe/follow me. I appreciate all support. Thank you so much. If you have any role play ideas for me to try email me at sexyouwishyouhad@gmail.com]


2 notes

The Underground Railroad of Sex

Let me start this story off by saying that in no way am I racist. I have black friends, and I am all for equal rights whether that be for blacks, whites, gays, or straights. Now let me tell you that this story is kinda fucked up. That was my disclaimer. Now on to the story!

Ok. I don’t remember exactly when this story occurred. I think maybe two years ago. I was with a girl (Harriet)[She is white]. This one time we were hooking up and discussing sex. She was saying how she likes to be dominated. Now usually that shit is a major turnoff for me. I hate pain. Why would I want pain when I’m trying to get pleasure? Sex is not supposed to hurt. It is supposed to feel good. Let’s look at it the other way. She wanted me to dominate her. I can’t hit a girl. I feel like “dominating” is a euphemism, or nice way of saying, raping. Sure I can slap a girl’s ass like any other dude, but none of that choking, and dominatrix shit. Freaks me the fuck out.

Anyway, I said I would give it a try. There’s always a first for everything. (The more stories you read on my blog, the more you realize its true.) So we start fucking. I was gonna have to warm up to this, so we started out normal. Just missionary, quiet, normal, boring-ass sex.

I got her going. She started moaning. Then we started fucking sideways (missionary, but rolled over on the side).

I told her to shut the fuck up and to stop making noise as I fucked the shit out of her. It was kinda funny. I would go hard and she would bite down on pillows and her fingers, and hand to stop herself from making noise.

Then I really revved my engines. My RPM gauge was going into the red. HA! I got her to make noise. So I slapped her in the face.

This kinda freaked me out. I NEVER hit girls. I mean NEVER. I wasn’t sure if I was more freaked out about what I just did or to see what she is gonna do back to me.

Well go figure….She loved it. That only got her off more. She started screaming again as I fucked her.

Then I had a sudden urge to roll on top of her again and stop in my tracks. I stopped and said:

"I am Thomas Jefferson. And you are Harriet Tubman. You are a slave. And I am your master."

Then started fucking the shit out of her. I skipped the first 5 gears. I went from neutral right into sixth. Fucking overdrive and shit. She loved it.

"Yes Masta….thank you, Masta!"

This didn’t even make sense. Thomas Jefferson and Harriet Tubman?!?! But sometime you gotta go with your heart. And my heart was saying freaky 19th century role play.

So I dominated her. I made a bunch of jokes about Harriet Tubman. (I don’t want to come off as racist or as someone wanting to spread hate so they are omitted) Just know that I thought it was funny.

And that’s what sex is all about, ladies and gentleman. Having fun with your partner. We both felt great, and we had fun.

Update: That Valentine’s Day, I made her a card that on the front said “You are the Underground Railroad to my heart.”

Now if that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.


[Subscribe/follow me. I appreciate all support. Thank you so much. If you have any role play ideas for me to try email me at sexyouwishyouhad@gmail.com]


23 notes

The Infamous Pokemon Sex Story

Most people will just think this is fucking weird (which it is), but I love DOING THINGS during sex. I mean, sex is great and all: It feels good, and you can connect with your partner. But for lack of a better word, plain, ole-fashion sex can get boring. There are only so many positions, and if you take a long time like me, you can get bored. I love talking and interacting with my partner. Nothing gets me going like a good story-line in a role-play.

So Freshman year, I was hanging out with this girl (Let’s call her Misty for now). For some reason, we wanted to watch some of the first episodes of the first season of Pokemon.

So there we were in her room. We just finished our 5th episode in a row (I don’t know the exact number). All I know is that we have been introduced to Misty, the second Gym Boss. (look her up if you don’t know which one she is). We were discussing how Misty (the character) should fuck Ash (the main character is the show). We both agreed Misty was hot as shit and that we would both want to fuck her if given the chance.

I then suggested that Ash-Misty would be a hot role-play. She took me completely seriously. JACKPOT!

We start hooking up. We aren’t really talking or doing anything in any sort of roleplay. Just kissing…then touching….then shirts come off….then touching…then pants off.

She stops me. Fuck.

Misty: “I want you to fuck me like a Pokemon. I want to be Dratini.”

Fuck yes!

I’m not 100% sure she is serious. So I half jokingly say:

"Ok. But I want to be Magicarp." (the one that does nothing but "splash")

Misty: “Oh. I can’t resist water pokemon.”

Holy shit! She’s serious. I am about to have pokemon sex.

I get on top of her in missionary position. As I enter her she lets out a sigh and at the same time moans, “Dratini.”

I literally do what magicarps do. I flop around aimlessly saying my own name. “Magicarp. Magicarp….Magi….Carp. Carp.”

I look quickly at the clock. We have been fucking like pokemon for 10 minutes already. Time to mix it up.

My thrusts start to become more organized. More in beat. Pretty much all around better.Misty starts to get more and more into it. I feel like she is getting close to orgasm.

I stop….pause 2 seconds. Then shout out:

"GYARADOS!" I evolved. I evolved from the lame, stupid, magicarp, into an absolute beast moster! I AM GYARADOS!

I start fucking the shit out of her. I have been saving all of my energy for this moment. I make her orgasm. She starts screaming. (oh yeah. she’s a screamer)

But these aren’t your average screams…”DRATINI! DRATINI!…”

I slow down and tell her that I want to change pokemon. She says ok, but she wants to stay the same one.

I slowly pull my cock back. As I pull back, I calmly say “Pikaaaa” (holding the last syllable.) Then yell “CCCHHUUUUUU!” Slam right into her Poke-pussy! After a few of these, she was orgasming again.

Then I just started laughing. I was still fucking her. But this was getting ridiculous, even for me. I started making pikachu jokes…

- “Don’t I have great poke-balls?”

- “Did you find my cock shocking?”

- “This sure is a great ‘Pika-screw’”

- “I guess you could say, I can’t conduct myself!?!?”

There were probably others too. But they were all the same lame, corny, shitty pokemon puns. I am not funny….But I thought i was at the time. I could not stop laughing.

I decided to flip her over, fuck the shit out of her, then finish. I had enough poke-action for one day.

A few months after the sex, I was hanging out with Misty. Some girl walks by, and Misty says hi to her. I expect to be introduced. Instead, Misty says, “[Friend], this is Gyarados.”

Game Over.


If you like my stories, feel free to subscribe. share with friends. thank you! much appreciated! - Mous

[have role-play ideas for me to try? email me at sexyouwishyouhad@gmail.com]


6 notes

Drunk Sex

So, Freshman year, I was hanging out with a girl (Penny) who I was sorta seeing at the time. It was Thursday night. I had finished most of my work, and we wanted to go out. I never experienced a “Thirsty-Thursday” and figured this would be the perfect opportunity. We tried texting our friends to see what was going on, but unless you were 21 and could go out to a bar, chances are you are shit out of luck.

We tried knocking on doors of neighbors and kids who lived on my hall to see if they knew of anything going on. Most of the kids on the hall were responsible (or just out-of-the-loop freshmen) and didn’t know of any parties. We were getting close to the end of the hall, but our luck soon changed.

Our friends, Friend1 and Friend2 answer the door cautiously. They are playing music in their dorm, and there are people who I have never met in the room. We come in and there are cards spread out on the floor. Kings. I have never played before. They ask if we want to take some shots with them and then play a new game of kings. Penny approves. The story kicks in here.

We were offered free vokda. As a freshman boy, I graciously accept any alcohol put in front of me. Who cares that it costs $10 for a handle? Who cares that its a disgustingly sweet, pink-lemonade flavored vokda? Ha! Not me!

I take a couple shots to catch up with everyone else in the room. Penny takes a couple half shots. Let the game begin! We start playing, and obviously being the kid who doesn’t know the rules, I am losing horribly. Shot after shot. I do manage to take down some of the other light weight girls with me. All I know is that maybe 20 minutes later, I am about 10 shots deep. I’m feeling pretty good about myself. The girls are drunk. The girls say that they are getting to drunk, so we agree to turn the game into strip kings. Either take a shot or take of your clothes. The Gods have answered. Even as a freshman, I have a decent tolerance to vodka (I’m half Russian) and drunk girls are stripping. I get most of the girls’ shirts off…

Eventually Friend1 (now Drunk-Friend1), announces that she has to pee. She takes my shirt off and runs off. The game halts. I take a couple shots to pass time. At this point, I no longer care about the game. I have been surrounded by naked girls. I WANT SEX!

I fall back and whisper to Penny “Have you ever had drunk sex?” She replies “No, but I really want to.”

I say my goodbyes to everyone in the room. I finally stand up for the first time in a while. The alcohol sinks in as I feel the blood rush to my head and legs. I am now stumbling. I am drunk.

We go to Penny’s room. She has two roomates, but neither one were there at 1am. We immediately strip and start fucking. I might have been fucking her in missionary position for 10 minutes, when all of a sudden we hear something at the door…

Shanikwa, Penny’s big, black, rooster-looking, roomate opens the door and walks in. I am on top of Penny. I am facing Shanikwa. We meet eyes. I am still fucking Penny.

I casually say “Hi Shanikwa.” I am still fucking Penny, even as I say this. Shanikwa is horrified. It was like KFC didn’t have enough chicken to fill an 8-peice bucket.

So me being the considerate, caring, gentleman that I am, I proceed to ask this hideous beast “Do you want to have a threesome with us?” I am still fucking Penny. I do not stop.

Shanikwa runs away. Scarred for life.

I am still fucking Penny. I don’t remember for how long or if I even came, but we eventually stop having sex.

Instead of going to bed to and try to salvage a few hours of sleep before 8am Friday classes, we go say hi to Penny’s neighbors. I am not wearing any pants or a shirt. I am just wearing a thin pair of boxers. We are explaining our night and how I just scared the shit out of Penny’s roommate. All I know is that her sober neighbors take advantage of me and make me do some stupid dance, in my underwear. They record it on their computers. At some point my dick falls out.

I leave their room hysterically laughing. The RA on the floor comes out and tells me politely to shut-the-fuck-up. This is even funnier to me. I collapse on the hallway floor, laughing uncontrollably. The girls drag me back into Penny’s room so that I do not get written up.

I wind up waking up drunk for my 8am. I remember cursing out my TA for not signing off on my Lab report fast enough. At the time, I felt justified. Looking back on it, I was drunk. Oh well…no thirsty thursday…for a couple days at least.

[Thanks for checking out the blog. New story every thursday]


1. Intro

Ok. So the Majority of these posts/blogs/whatevers are going to be about sex. I don’t know jack-shit about blogging, all I know how to do is have sex, (and be damn good at it). Like I said in the description, I really don’t care if you believe anything I say. Its true: you don’t know if any of the stuff I say is true or false. But most of this stuff you can’t make up.

I am white. Average height. Slightly gifted between the legs. (i don’t care that you don’t believe me so shut up). and slightly skinny. i wouldn’t say that i am the most attractive guy in the world, but i wouldn’t say that im not attractive. from the girls i have asked/heard from, they give me anywhere from a 7-8 out of 10. they say “you’re cute.” [what the hell does that even mean? girls find forest critters cute. men should be described as handsome, hot, jacked, etc. whatever…]

I love role play. Any role play you have done, I have done, but underwater. ok, not underwater, but you get the idea. i have done a ton of different role play. I have done everything from the typical porno teacher-student, cop and suspect, to Pokemon sex. yupp. thats right. fucking pokemon sex. raise your hand if you have done that! I will try to get to all of my stories at some point.

I don’t know why, but I feel kinda weird knowing that if this ever got popular, high-schoolers and even younger would be reading this. This is the same reason I couldn’t do porn. Just feels too weird knowing I just corrupted some poor kid. Shit, what if some 13 year old kid “stumbled” on this??

Am I good at sex? There is no scale or index that I know of to put a number on my sex. Having said that, I usually make the girl orgasm. It’s not that I am doing anything crazy like the “pile-driver” every time or going at 1,000,000 fucks per second. Maybe I just watched too much porn in high school. Who knows. I guess i try something out and see how the girl likes it. I get off by seeing the girl’s reaction. I usually hear good things. A girl has only fallen asleep once during sex to my knowledge.

I don’t really know what else you need to know about me…

oh. here’s a good one. I would classify myself as a boobs guy. i check out more asses in public, but when I’m under the sheets, my hands are all about the tits.

If I forgot anything else, I’ll just fill you all in in the blog/post/whatever.


Tagged: sex, role-play, fucking, intro, .